As the winter transfer window approaches, Manchester United’s wishlist is clear: defenders, not elves! With their backline resembling a Swiss cheese factory, fans are hoping for reinforcements that can actually defend—because watching post-match interviews is far too much fun!

In a shocking plot twist straight out of a telenovela, Lionel Messi is reportedly considering a comeback to Barcelona. Is he looking to reclaim his throne, or just trying to dribble past another awkward brunch with Mbappé? Stay tuned!